Real Madrid // Malcolm Brown

Hey Yall

In Madrid. Wanted to hit you with some knowledge. I broke a nice little code of human existance. I like to call it "how to read a map". 2.0 yall. In Spain they tell you over and over again "watch out for pickpockets!" but what they really should tell you is "you will be robbed by every other restraunteur in the central part of the city. And the food will be dogshit." If you are thinking about paella consider the following: to make decent paella you need fresh seafood. Any place worth a shit selling paella will only do it on certain days of the week when they get a fresh shipment Ergo, any place advertizing paella every day probably has a whole menu of dogshit and they make their living fleecing tourists. BTW, when i say theiving restraunteurs, i mean it literally: not just that the food is bad and overpriced, but in addition to those 2 things I would say 5 out of 10 meals things have mysteriously ended up on the bill that were not ordered / the cost of things would be different on the bill than on the menu / the waiter would straight up make up a final total for the bill (in our case yesterday 23 euros instead of 16).

Well today I tasted victory in the form of delicious gespacho and I want to tell you how i did it.

Step one: look at subway map. Look for all places where 4 subway lines meet. Now make sure none of those subway lines go anywhere near hotels/museums/bars/tourists. Congradulations, you have sucessfully located where local folks who do things like work for a living constantly travel thru, and where tourists never go. Ok, now go there. Look for the place on the corner that is obviously a local institution. In the case of my afternoon today in Madrid, that place was Hontanares on Av America.

Literally everything in the restraunt looked delicious.

so thats that.

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2: while you were out of the office....the university of Texas signed the biggest Running Back recruit since Adrian Peterson. His name is Malcolm Brown. We are now going to kick ass at football, and probably will win a national championship in the next couple years, probably next year. Aww yea dog.

I would post highlights and a Madrid metro map, but I gotta go actually. I really shouldnt be writing this right now at all, but I thought these 2 notes were very important.

Peace.