this must be the place....goin strong , yeah baby!!!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Romance Tips #1

REPLACE THESE STARS WITH HOMEPAGE SUMMARY<-->"I smell a new column coming on." E. Saucepot's words, not mine, ladies and gentlemen. I must oblige.

So what is it I've been learning out here in this crazy world? Romance tips that's what, and I've come to share em with you.REPLACE THESE STARS WITH FULL POST<-->

One I really like, a Lil' Wayne quote, "you can never erase the stain of confidence." Are you comfortable being you? Yeah, that's what I like to hear, don't let anyone take that away from you! Even when she's treating you like a dog. Who know's, with the stain of confidence, you may be able to turn that into "cute lost puppy" and that could be your in. Never give up!!

Oh yeah, and another thing...the question no ones been asking, but maybe they should:

What's the ideal date scenario?

I know those in "The Game" "community" would say you are never supposed to go on dates. That may be true if you are trying to get laid with some tramp off 6th street, maybe dating is not right for you, but let me tell ya, there are some classy ladies out there, and they are not gonna just bang you because you "neg"ed them in front of their sorority sisters...they don't even have em!!! Now That's Class.

your mind just exploded

So yeah, when faced with a situation like this, a dating scenario, I know the addition to being of average looks, I'm not a cool guy. But I have a little thought experiment I like to run, it goes like this..."If i WAS a cool guy, what would I do in this situation?" This can be a very valuable thought experiment, because many times the answer is as simple as "don't call her right now, even though you really want to." Duhh!! why were you going to do that anyways?

But what about a date? A cool guy wants to go on a date, because a cool guy wants to spend time with the girl. That's the whole point right? But no pressure, no other people is best IMH-romance-tip-giving-O, and for god's sake don't let it drag. A first date is not a prog record. "Double Live" is about record 5 or 6 if I'm not mistaken, and usually only to get through the end of a bad contract. I think we've all been there.

First date, it can be a standardized affair. Why not? How do you think that got invented in the first place? For a major babe, you have to "wow", but you are gonna have to do that anyways, trust me, we are gonna need to set up a separate plan for that. You're not gonna wow her by going bowling instead of getting coffee. Cut out all the bullshit and just get the coffee. You are sitting down, she is sitting down, there is a mild stimulant involved making you both naturally feel good. If things are going real well, test the waters and invite the lady to the park for a smoking of a J, but if she's the motivated type, she's probably too busy, and also a bit wary of smoking J's late at night with a stranger.

But say you don't get there and it goes well, what about the second date? Now for a good tip, an unbeatable combo really: morning time, park, and J. You wanna play it sassy, throw a picnic on there, but sassy is not really cool. "What would a cool guy do?" I donno, I think he might just stick to the basics. What can go wrong? You throw the picnic maybe you are making it too much pressure for her. Really, you just got coffee one time, and now you are making a goddamn picnic???

But you don't want to just sit there...unless...

Unless you have a J handy, and now its time to flip it on her "if she was a cool girl what would she do?" I think she smokes it. Last time I checked, there was a heavy correlation, if not causation, between weed and coolness, and second date is a little early for her to be blowing her "I'm not cool" non-smoke rings in the air, because she is not even smoking.

The upside to this plan, you both end up spacing out a little bit, and then you are comfortable being around each other just spacing out. Congraduations, you have just successfully played the "I'm comfortable being me" card, and you found out if she's comfortable being her as well. And even if she's not, maybe the weed just took over. What could be better?

You get that baseline down, and who knows, maybe she will want to see what you are doing that night, the ball is in her court, but you have done your best.
I love you all

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