Brown Building Rooftop Gig Report

After totally schooling Andrew in a game of 21 (fade away jumpers, skyhooks, floater along the bass line, late-game free throw streak), we made our way to DJ a private party.

Will from Lambert's hooked us up. His roommate was turning 27 years old and wanted to throw a party on the rooftop of the Brown Building downtown (8th and Colorado). It is one of the few condo/loft buildings in downtown Austin that wasn't build specifically as a residential complex, but has been converted into one. A few certified bros might remember this rooftop, Alex Fry's mother lived in the building and he had people over a few times.

If you haven't been to the top of the Brown Building, which is safeguarded by a residential key-card system, it is fucking swank. You're 10 stories up in the middle of downtown, staring at the capitol and it feels like you're really a part of the skyline. Most of the rooftop is gravel and industrial piping etc., except for a nicely furnished wood deck raised about 6 feet off of the ground. Dark stained wood chairs and tables, rope lighting, very classy.

Unfortunately the bartender (open bar provided by birthday boy) was late, so we were in a big hurry setting up, and in addition to that we had some, cough, equipment problems. Things got started late, but luckily the birthday boy didn't arrive until an hour after his party was supposed to start so it was all good.

I played hip-hop white people like and got a lot of compliments from rich white men wearing polo shirts tucked into jeans. I got one or two terrorist fist jabs in appreciation of my selections. The crowd stunk of money, and as Will put it nicely as he left at the end of the night, "In case I didn't preface it before, most of those people were actually douchebags." They were pretty nice to me, but I really had trouble telling them apart. This isn't some hipster snobbery, all thirty or so men at this party, with the exception of one or two in expensive t-shirts, looked exactly the same. Early in the party I was pressed by one of these young professionals to point out the guy who I had given the rooftop keycard to and I realized that I had no idea, they all looked the same.

The women on the other hand were phenomenal. It was like a meeting of the Trophy Girlfriends of Austin Club. These were girls who go to the gym, if you know what I'm saying. And then after the gym they go to boutiques and buy tiny cocktail dresses. And then they go to parties like this one. And then they end their night untucking the polo shirt of a man who carries a money clip thicker than my wrist. I learned that girls like this love Rhianna, but not Beyonce.

The highlight of the night had to be playing "Mo' Money Mo' Problems". Staring at young, beautiful, rich people on a downtown rooftop is really an optimal place to listen to that song, second only to the deck of a yacht. My regrets of the evening include failing to infiltrate the Trophy Girlfriends of Austin Club and forgetting to play "Money Ain't a Thing" by Jay-Z.